We Women ….are hard on each other
I am always amazed at the relationships between women, they all appear to be difficult. Mothers and daughters; sisters; girlfriends; sport teammates; classmates; later on co- workers; Mother-in-laws and especially ex- girlfriends of our significant other.
What is it about us, as a gender? I often wonder..
Why are we so hard on each other?
Young women are particularly hard on each other. By Young, I mean anyone under the age of 90. My 89 year old Mother-in-law says she is still learning and trying to figure it all out
I watch young women comparing their looks to the magazines, criticizing each other in very subtle ways like ” Oh really, Ben is not crawling yet? Joey was crawling at a much earlier age.” or ” I think your child is must be hyperactive. Look how he can’t keep still!!!” ( the answer to THAT one, when I got it, is “That’s because he is a BOY, and you only have girls!!)
The Face book thing, drives me nuts… Everyone has the most perfect marriage, the best behaved kids, and their husband is over the top romantic, swoops into the house at the end of the day with flowers, praising you for all you have accomplished during the day and wanting to take over the cooking and child care.
Believe me, I know the truth. I have been married for 41 years. To the same man!!
Just for the record, if you did post regularly on your wall about your fights, and his faults and how bad His mother is, I would unfriend you immediately!!!! Facebook is public and not an appropriate venue for such personal venting and husband bashing.
Back to my original question.. Why ARE we so hard on each other?
1. Because we are so hard on ourselves
2. Women are petty by nature
3.We all operate out of our own hurts/pain
4.We are very hard on ourselves for not being perfect
5.We are created to be emotional beings so feel very deeply
6.Most, by nature are people pleasers
7.Living up to our own expectations is nearly impossible, let alone living up to others’
8. Not to mention the control issues, as each of us needs to be in control of so much of our lives
So, we criticize,(ourselves and each other) we cry easily, we yell at our kids when they embarrass us and remind us we are not perfect Mothers, we yell at our husbands when really we just want to be held, we pick at each other’s family. And we are tired.
How can I change this? One of my favorite saying is ” BE the change you want to see in the world.”
What is my role, I can only change myself so how do I start?
Years ago, I realized that most people do not intentionally try to hurt my feelings, so I decided that on purpose I would not allow my feeling to get hurt.(Better at that sometimes than others)
I can be more accepting of individuality, more generous with honest appreciation and praise, less critical of myself and others and CELEBRATE each other.
In the celebration vein… This weekend the First Annual Celebration of the Women in our family will be taking place. My fabulous Daughter in law and Daughter have helped makes plans, that I don’t even know about. The Evite says, ” A weekend for women only, no kids, lots of laughing, game playing, little sleeping, wine drinking, river walking, movie watching, food eating, team competing Olympics.The sleep deprived generation vs the rested and mostly retired!”
Live, Laugh, Love and be Family
Celebrating the beautiful individual woman each has been created to be!!!
May we each realize how perfect and good we really are.
The change begins with me.