Screw Skinny

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Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
That’s a damn lie.

Thin equals pretty.
Also a damn lie

Your weight is who you are.

One of the biggest damn lies I cant think of.

Little girls on a scale

Did anyone see this today?

Lada Gaga’s Stomach

Lady Gaga looking emaciated with her concave stomach and xylophone of ribs. Why is this beauty? And don’t tell me art because that’s crap and its dangerous.

The images being put out for us to see and gawk at and try to emulate are false. It is hard work to be a woman, what with all of the plucking and waxing and make up applying and hair to be done. It’s fun work to be a woman and I think it’s innate in us to want to look and feel beautiful. My daughters are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 and the moment their nails are dry they are shoving them into their baby brothers face asking him ” Do you like my nails?” and ” aren’t they pretty?”

So I’m not bashing beautiful nor the desire to be and feel beautiful. I’m bashing the skinny is everything crap that we and our daughters are fed day in and day out from the likes of Lady Gaga to Brooke Burke ( yes she is stunning. But lets not pretend that after 5 kids that body put itself back together like that without a good team of doctors and lasers) to Kim Kardashian who won’t even be seen outside of her house until she has attained the unattainable postpartum body through in home personal training, night nurses and meal deliveries.

Weight matters when it is unhealthy. Your looks matter if you are unhappy with them. What doesn’t matter, or rather what shouldn’t matter, is perfection. Tracy Anderson, trainer to the stars and who’s DVDs I own and use from time to time and find to be a good hard workout, claims that she has found the method ” that makes perfection possible”. According to her method, that means two hours of working out a day on a 700 calorie a day limited foods diet. Now you can bet your bottom dollar you’re going to lose weight and few dress sizes on something like that.

But what are you really gaining with this type of “perfection”? Are all of your deep seeded insecurities gone? Is your marriage fixed? Are you all of the sudden happy with who you really are?

Because if the number on your scale or on the tag in your pants is what you base those things on your screwed. If your entire happiness or self worth is wrapped up in how much you weigh and how you look, best of luck to you, because you won’t ever be truly content, happy, or satisfied.

But, if you can come to grips with the shape of your hips and the freckles on your face you just might still come out on top. If you put your efforts into being a well read woman, a kind woman, an interesting woman, a strong,steady and wise woman you will be the winner, year after year after year. You will triumph over those doubts and insecurities, find success in the broken relationships and truly get to become exactly who you want to be regardless of your dress size or weight.

Go out and be beautiful! Try the new skin care line, play with makeup and hair colors. Enjoy fashion. Do your workouts for fun and health and because you like how it makes you look and feed. Always opt for the uncomfortable but fancy shoe and screw skinny, for the sole sake of being skinny, to its sticking post. Be healthy, if that means losing weight I love weight watchers and Paleo. If it means gaining a few pounds I prefer lemon drop martinis and chocolate.

And by all means, be careful what you say to yourself and about yourself in front of you daughters.

Girls on Stairs in summer

Because she might grow up to look just like you.

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Women are hard on Women by GrandMomopolyBeth

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We Women ….are hard on each other

I am always amazed at the relationships between women,  they all appear to be difficult. Mothers and daughters;  sisters;  girlfriends; sport teammates; classmates;  later on co- workers;  Mother-in-laws  and especially ex- girlfriends of our significant other.

What is it about us, as a gender? I often wonder..

Why are we so hard on each other?

Young women are particularly hard on each other. By Young, I mean anyone under the age of 90. My 89 year old Mother-in-law says  she is still learning and trying to figure it all out

I watch young  women  comparing their looks to the magazines, criticizing each other  in very subtle ways  like  ” Oh really, Ben is not crawling yet?  Joey was crawling  at a much earlier age.”  or  ”  I think your child is  must be hyperactive. Look how he can’t keep still!!!”  ( the answer to THAT one,  when I got it, is “That’s because he is a BOY, and you only have girls!!)

The Face book thing, drives me nuts… Everyone  has the most perfect marriage, the best behaved kids,  and their husband  is over the top romantic, swoops into the house at the end of the day with flowers,   praising you for all you have accomplished during the day  and wanting to take over the cooking and child care.

Believe me, I know the truth. I have been married for 41 years. To the same man!!

Just for the record, if you did post regularly on your wall about your fights, and his faults and how bad His mother is, I would unfriend you immediately!!!! Facebook is public and not an appropriate venue for such personal venting and husband bashing.

Back to my original question.. Why ARE we so hard on each other?

1. Because we are so hard on ourselves

2. Women are petty by nature

3.We all operate out of our own hurts/pain

4.We are very hard on ourselves for not being perfect

5.We are created to be emotional beings so feel very deeply

6.Most, by nature are people pleasers

7.Living up to our own expectations is nearly impossible, let alone living up to others’

8. Not to mention the control issues,  as each of us needs to be in control of so much of our lives

So, we criticize,(ourselves and each other) we cry easily, we yell at our kids when they embarrass us and remind us we are not perfect Mothers, we yell at our husbands when really we just want to be held, we pick at each other’s family. And we are tired.

How can I change this? One of my favorite saying is ” BE the change you want to see in the world.”

What is my role, I can only change myself  so how do I start?

Years ago, I realized that most people do not intentionally try to hurt my feelings, so I decided that on purpose  I would not allow my feeling to get hurt.(Better at that sometimes than others)

I can be more accepting of individuality,  more  generous with honest appreciation and praise, less critical of myself and others and CELEBRATE  each other.              photo.JPG

In the celebration vein… This weekend the First Annual Celebration of the Women in our family will be taking place. My fabulous Daughter in law and Daughter have helped makes plans, that I don’t even know about. The Evite  says, ” A weekend for women only, no kids, lots of laughing, game playing, little sleeping, wine drinking, river walking, movie watching, food eating, team competing  Olympics.The sleep deprived  generation vs  the  rested and mostly retired!”

Live, Laugh, Love and be Family

Celebrating the beautiful individual woman each has been created to be!!!

May we each realize  how perfect and good we really are.

.

The change begins with me.

GrandMomopoly Beth